13000 ft: I am addicted to utmost Euphoria!

11000 ft: Wheeeeeee!

7000 ft: I think I’m going to go home and make myself an omelette after this

5000 ft: Whooooooo!

2500 ft: Time to open my chute…

2300 ft: Huh? That didn’t work. Let’s try again.

2000 ft: Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit!

1500 ft: Oh well. Guess I’m going to die. Might as well enjoy the rest of the dive.

500 ft: Man, that omelette would have been so good

20 ft: Whoa! Look at those people, they look like ants from up here

10 ft: Wait a minute, I’m at 10 feet! Those aren’t people, they actually ARE ants

5 ft: Here we go. Goodbye world!



0 ft : Wait, I’m not dead? Guess I was so caught up in falling, I forgot to hit the ground. Weird.

0 ft : Now, how about that omelette?

Written on November 13, 2017